A few days after my little spill in the cold room Dr. Dillon summoned me to his office. He asked me to repeat to him what had happened, when it happened, what I did about it, and whom I told. Dr. Dillon was an efficient person and wanting to hear something twice was not consistent with his normal mode of operations. Nonetheless I repeated the story and also mentioned that I had since told Ann about it. When I was finished, he said that at this morning’s physiology department’s faculty meeting one of the other faculty had complained about the smell in the cold room and “discovered” that I had caused the spill and claimed that I had not told anyone. Dr. Dillon was present and said that I did inform him of what happened and what I had done about it, and that I had notified another graduate student. It turned out that Jack, the person I told about the spill, was the graduate student of the person who reported my spill. Dr. Dillon seemed to relish saying that this graduate student had been notified and had no problems with the spill or its cleanup. Dr. Dillon said he also assured the faculty that he checked the cold room afterward and found that it was adequately cleaned and cleared and the residual smell was as good as could be expected.

For me, the lesson learned from this was to tell everyone everything. Tell the good, the bad, and the ugly. I also realized that even if a mistake occurs, what you do afterward may be just as if not more important than the original mistake. Expanding on this lesson, I resolved to write and submit regular reports on my work to Dr. Dillon and all my future supervisors, whether this was asked for or not. Information was on my side and something that needed to always flow freely.

Ann and I were able to catch up a few days later. I told her that I thought she seemed distracted and asked again what was wrong. She said that the rent for the house she and her brother shared was going up a lot and that they couldn’t afford it any longer. It was also hard to find accommodations that accepted pets and she was worried about finding a place to live that was affordable and would take Ellie.

Almost without thinking, I said, “Well, you can stay with me.”

She gave me a surprised look as I continued.

“I know we’ve only been together for a few months, but I think it is the right thing to do and I am ready for it.”

Ann knew that I had never lived with a girlfriend and she seemed to appreciate that I was proposing a big step and commitment.

Apparently starting to warm to the idea, she asked, “Do they take pets in your place?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure they take pets and I am sure I want to do this. I also happen to know that there are some apartments in the complex that are a better size for the two of us, with a balcony. I don’t know what they cost, but between us I’m sure we can afford it. That of course means that your brother needs to find his own place. Are you OK with that?”

“I am very ready for that,” she said emphatically. I was a little concerned by the force with which she made that statement, because I hadn’t sensed any tension between her and her brother. I was sincerely hoping that Ann would agree to move in with me. I felt like I was in a very good place. My career was moving forward with all the signs of a future as a researcher, and I was seeing an opportunity to have a relationship and family with Ann. It is extremely hard to balance career and relationships, but I really wanted to try with Ann. I saw clear advantages in a relationship with Ann because we could see each other at work and have plenty of time together.

We talked at length about the logistics of moving in together. Some of our stuff would have to go into storage, but we would be together, which is something I desperately wanted. She would talk to her brother about how they might divide their furnishings and I would talk to my landlord about a couple-oriented apartment. My present apartment was perfect for a single college male, but not really right for a couple. It was in the basement of the complex, across from the boiler room and the laundry room. It was ultra cheap, with windows that began about 5 feet up from the floor and a ceiling that was lower than those of the apartments in the rest of the complex. The apartments on the upper floors were nicer and more expensive, as well as much better suited for couples. I really liked the idea of moving up, physically and figuratively. I had missed Holly but needed to move on from her memory and Ann allowed me to do this.

Ann and I tackled our respective tasks and found no barriers to living together. We were going to share a place—it was decided. We would move in together as soon as I finished my Ph.D. comprehensive exams. This meant a bit of a delay, but it also gave us time to get things ready for the move. We would need to put some stuff in storage and Ann could get her old accommodations closed down as well as settle things with her brother. There was no looking back. I was committed to this relationship and I was moving in with this woman. A lot was going to change very quickly.